she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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