i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
