I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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