And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
