I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
