Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
