Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Randomize
