I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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