her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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