You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
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I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
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In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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