is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
