This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
