I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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