I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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