I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
