If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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