also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
