Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
and she was petting her beer can
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
