Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
