sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
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She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
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Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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