Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I puked a lego.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
