check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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