So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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