Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
