how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
