i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
