There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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