I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
