That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i think i just lost a toe
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
