Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
