Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
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After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
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Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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