i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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