bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
