Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
