i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
