I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
