why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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