I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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