Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
