We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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