Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
