If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
