carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
