I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
