you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
