Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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