I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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