Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
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Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
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well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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