He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize