And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
