dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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