I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
