I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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