dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Boobs are out for the taking
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
