I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
