it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
