i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
no you cant smoke seaweed
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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