I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize