I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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