is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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