Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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